You may or may not be surprised to learn, there are four aspects to your
organizational existence; the physical and mental on the one hand; the soul and
spirit on the other. Thus, the initial exercise of obseving yourself will proceed
along four lines of observation involving your, physical actions, mental thoughts,
your soul or emotional feelings, based on past memories, and your spirit or
conscious awareness, the I am you know yourself to be.
THE BODY:- Generally speaking we have a number of unconscious actions. In
observing our physical self we may notice that we have a number of physical
personal meaningless, habitual mannerisms. Before you analyze yourself observe
the behavior of an individual with whom you are familiar, but not intimate,
concentrating solely on his or her gestures, postures, and unconscious actions, etc.
Then knowing what to look for make the effort to focus your attention on your
own physical likeness and idiosyncrasies. Try to be as consistently objective with
yourself as you were with the other person or persons, don't let vanity cloud your
consciousness. Be objective in this crucial exercise as you can, so persevere in your
pursuit and you will learn a lot about the physical you that you never noticed
before. Your physical makeup is determined by a specific section of your natal horoscope
which we will speak about later. For the time being observing your actions in your
environment and notice how you deal with people and situations in the life around
you.
THE MIND:- Mentally speaking, do you think in words or do your thoughts just
come as mental picture capable of counselled reflection and spontaneous
understandings. Generally speaking our thoughts encompass a kind of brain
chatter. As a first step in self-observation, listen to your thought-words objectively
as though you had never heard them before. Are there voices with varying rhythm,
pitch, volume, or intensity? Is there agreement and consensus, or do you hear
arguments, debates, dissonance? What voice prevails? Most significantly, do the
voices only speak to each other, or does there seem to be a constant listener to
whom the words are frequently addressed?
Who are these speakers, seeking or perhaps battling for attention? And who is
the listener whose attention they are seeking? Think about this for a moment and
then observe them again. Have you ever noticed this underlying dynamic of your
thought process before? If you have, have you ever read any satisfactory
explanation for their existence? Here is a phenomenon occurring within the
boundary of your own skull almost every waking minute of your life which
determines what you will do and say at any given moment, however, you may
know almost nothing about it. In fact, you may not even be aware to any major
extent of this activity despite its obvious importance.
There is a section of your horoscope and planet that tells you something about
yourself, but for now simply observe yourself.
Do you make up your mind to perform a certain action or do you vacillate
perhaps even become confused before you act. Do you exercise the power of
decision? Observe yourself in these matters and get a grasp on your actions.
Now, listen again and observe it again, and again, until it is incorporate into your
awareness; registered as evidence of your enlightenment of yourself. There is a
specific planet along with its aspects and placements from other planets that has to
do with these mental affairs, these we will learn about in the future, but for now
observe yourself. You will be surprised at what you will learn about yourself.that
you never realized before.
THE SOUL:- To observe the emotional aspect of your organism, your soul,
observe how you vent daily anger and frustration. Because emotions are so volatile,
you will have difficulty observing them as they occur, but you must try to do this to
the best of your ability. The second best choice is to note them after they arise, but
for purposes of clarity, make a supreme effort to be aware of them at the moment
they present themselves. What kind of a soul do you have? Obseverve it and get
to know your inner self..
When you are acutely frustrated or angry, observe what you do. Do you kick
the dog or punch the door? Are you rude or abusive to waitresses and clerks? Do
you pout or sulk? Do you allow the anger to distract you from the task at hand? Do
words come out of your mouth that you instantly regret? Perhaps admonishing a
loved one. Do you inflict petty viciousness on those who care for you? Does anger
dictate your behavior, and after you've acted on your frustration, how do you feel
about yourself? Are you sorry? File your observations. Do you realize that your
actions and decisions are made while standing in the shadow of your past
experience? Observe yourself and try to fathom what experience produces them.
Perhaps there are actions that happened years ago that really need your attention
today in order to dissipate that pent up energy and rid yourself of its effect on you
today. Think about it for a moment. Observe yourself. The planetary transits have
plenty to do with forming this part of your being along with its aspects in your
chart.
THE SPIRIT:- In reviewing your observations, what do you see? Of the catalog
of manifest phenomena arising from your components, how many have been
known to you previously? Can you explain their genesis or how they came to be
integrated into the fabric of your earthly existence? You move, think, feel and are
aware of yourself everyday, yet how many of the countless manifestations of your
being have you consciously chosen? If you have had even minimal success in the
task of self-observation, are you the least bit curious about who it was that was
doing the observing in the first place? Is there a chance that this observer is the
same being to whom the conflicting voices of your intellect address themselves in
their endless chatter?
If you are capable of going beyond your illusions, even for a moment, you
must honestly concede that the answers to all of these questions are unknown to
you and have gone without examination or explanation for most of your life. At the
very least, you must admit that a great deal of what habitually occurs in your life
seems beyond your comprehension or control. Your actions seems to function
mysterious. You talk to yourself, you gesture, laugh, and cry with minimal
conscious input. Someone who barely knows you may have a greater awareness of
how your members look, sound, and behave, more than you do yourself, because
your physical, mental and emotional patterns of behavior were neither consciously
chosen, nor crafted by you. Nevertheless, you may sense a self, even though it may be
lost in the midst of your mortal existence, wanting to be known and heard. You may
learn that self by consulting your horoscope, when you learn how to read it.
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